Are affirmations just a New Age gimmick? Marie Nemeth coined the term, meta-fizzle, to indicate the practice of wishing something into reality. I have worked with clients who believe that the mere utterance of an affirmation is enough to make it so. Sometimes it seems as though saying, “i have an abundance of money,” magically make money appear. Can this be? Is it magical thinking or a tool for change?
Margo, a tearful 48-year-old woman, sat on my office couch and said with great despair, “I’ve been saying affirmations that I will have prosperity. Why doesn’t it happen? I’m going broke.” Margo was self-employed; but, she didn’t market her services. She grew increasingly depressed and had been advised by a prior therapist to say affirmations. She found many ways to rationalize why she didn’t need to market. She truly believed that the universe would provide her with prosperity. A couple of other clients have made affirmations a daily ritual, like brushing their teeth. When what they wish doesn’t come into reality, they blame themselves. When the intent of their affirmations come into being, they credit the universe. What’s wrong with this picture? Why take the blame when things don’t go according to plan, and credit the universe when they do? Feeling empowered leads to increased confidence, and you won’t feel empowered if you credit or blame something outside of yourself.
Before we decide if affirmations work, let’s define the term, affirmations? Affirmations are positive statements of desire made in present or past tense. You might remember Al Franken a.k.a. Stuart Smalley of Saturday Night Live fame. He stood in front of a mirror and said, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.” By saying those positive self statements, he believed that he and those around him would believe it.
More recently a best-selling book’s message purported that if you believed in something, stated in positive, present-tense statements, you could tap into the power of the cosmos and manifest what you desire. The catch was that you had to believe it would happen without reservation.
Sounds like magical thinking, doesn’t it? How can making positive statements make things appear? You can make learn to love yourself or make more money by stating affirmations; but, there is a major catch to this practice. Saying an affirmation is only part of the practice.
If you think of affirmations as a way to focus your attention on a goal, you can begin to understand the strength of such statements. Creating an affirmation, such as “I”m more relaxed,” cues your conscious or subconscious to take action that increases relaxation. Some actions might include deep breathing, visualizing a peaceful place or tensing and relaxing your muscles. With frequent repetition of affirmations along with physical action can lead to reprogramming your brain to automatically become more relaxed.
What about those people who believe that an affirmation, such as “I have the house of my dream,” will make the house appear? Most likely those people are aligning their actions with what they want. The key is identifying actions that align with what you want. There is quote by Francis Beaumont, “faith without works is like a bird without wings.” Your belief as stated in an affirmation must align with action in order to occur As that happens, you are creating new neuron pathways, or habits. What might look like a magic is actually the result of you changing your thinking and acting.
An example from 12 step programs might clarify this point. In recovery circles people say that 12 step programs “work if you work it.” Important in these programs is taking personal responsibility for doing your part. Sobriety happens because addicts “do the next right thing.” In the example above, Margo wasn’t taking action. She sat in her office and repeated her affirmations. Once we identified what the next right action was, we identified the blocks to her carrying out those steps. I would like to say that Margo learned new actions in response to her affirmations; but, she didn’t. She last reported being angry with the Universe for not bringing in new business!
In summary, affirmations can be a wonderful tool to focus you mind and emotions on your desires as long as your affirmations are aligned with supporting behaviors. Your behavior might align without your conscious realization; but, wishes do come true if you do your part.